Leadership is not something we do. It’s not a checklist. It’s not a task. Leadership is a self-expression. It’s something we are being moment to moment, revealed in our language, our way of listening, and the stand we take in conversations. It’s not learned like a technical skill. It’s remembered. Re-accessed. Reclaimed. And yet, most of us have forgotten it.
We Were Born With It
When we were young, there were moments when we spoke up. We told the truth. We stood for something. We asked hard questions. We called people out. We dared to lead.
Then something happened. • Maybe we were punished for speaking too boldly. • Maybe we were taught to wait our turn, stay quiet, or not outshine others. • Maybe we were told leadership belonged to “other people”, the louder ones, the smarter ones, the ones with authority or charisma.
Over time, our leadership didn’t disappear, it went dormant. It didn’t stop existing. It just stopped being expressed.
What replaced it was performance. Trying to “look like” a leader. Trying to “do what leaders do.” We spent countless hours and money in leadership training and workshops learning what leaders do but never getting to the source of what leadership really is.
Because, leadership isn’t a performance. It’s a presence.
Doing Leadership vs. Being a Leader
There’s a world of difference between doing leadership activities and being a leader.
Doing leadership looks like: • Attending meetings, giving updates, setting goals, managing people, creating Strategic Plans
Being a leader includes: • Making powerful declarations, owning our commitments, standing for what matters, managing agreements with others, causing results through who we are being, creating leaders around us
Leadership that’s disconnected from being is hollow.
When we lead from a place of doing, checking boxes, managing optics, or imitating what we think leadership should look like, we lose the very presence that gives leadership its power. People may comply, but they won’t be moved or inspired. Teams may follow instructions, but they won’t follow us. The words might sound right, but they won’t land. Because without being, leadership becomes performance, empty, exhausting, and unsustainable. That’s why so many of us, especially executives, feel burned out or fraudulent. We are taking actions without anchoring to self-expression. We are working hard, but it’s not us that’s showing up.
Leadership Is a Context We Step Into
Leadership lives in context, in how we see the world, how we relate to ourselves, and the future we stand in. And context determines everything.
If we are living in a context of doubt, survival, or fear, we’ll play small, even in a big role. If we are living in a context of responsibility, ownership, and possibility, we’ll lead whether or not anyone gave us permission.
This is the foundation of our work at DorWay™, and it’s why the Leaders Edge Path™ Training begins not with doing more but with who we are being.
The Access Point Back to Leadership
So how do we reconnect with leadership as self-expression? We don’t add something. We strip away what’s in the way. It is where the real work of being a leader lives.
• Complete past regrets or complaints • Completely give up trying to look good • Confront where we’ve suppress ourselves, become passive or withhold our true self • Start speaking into the future we’re committed to • Declare what we stand for, even when our voice shakes or others disapprove or challenge us.
We don’t need just skills. We need to remember who we were before we thought we weren’t enough to step into leadership when the moment requires it. That’s where our leadership lives.
Execution: What to Do Now
This isn’t theory. It’s immediately accessible if you practice and execute.
• Identify one place where you have been performing rather than leading. What would change if you brought your full self-expression?
• Name one future you want to cause and speak it out loud. Not as a hope. As a stand.
• Notice where you have gone silent or resigned. What conversation have you been avoiding? Have the conversation as a leader.
• Ask yourself: Are you trying to do leadership right or are you being someone worth following?
Final Thought
Leadership is not outside of us. It’s not at the top of the org chart. It’s not in a promotion. It’s already in us. But if we’ve been performing, avoiding, controlling or second-guessing, it’s time to return to who we are.
Because when leadership is our self-expression, we stop looking for permission and start creating futures.
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